I’ve just received a press release that begins “L’Orbe is the story of a new elixir”. Ooh, tell me more. My dictionary defines “elixir” as a magical or medicinal potion. What kind of benefits might this novel concoction confer? Longevity? Prosperity? Baby-soft cheeks? And in what form does this gift from the gods arrive?
Turns out it’s a bottle of vodka with some fish eggs in it.
But this is no ordinary vodka, oh no. It’s a really expensive one (£115 for half a litre), aimed at people with more Euros than brain cells. Apparently, L’Orbe vodka contains “the rarest, most precious ingredients in the world,” and the makers have “tapped into state-of-the-art technologies developed by the beauty and luxury industries.” The luxury industry eh?
But there’s more… each grain of caviar is “Encapsulated in a pearl whose natural membrane is made exclusively of water and algae.” Two very exclusive ingredients there. And its bottle is “a designer object inspired by the world’s most beautiful buildings.”
Now they come to mention it, I guess there is a touch of the Trump Towers about it. And I’m sure Donald will be cracking open a bottle if he wins next week’s election. Oh hang on, he’s tea total, but you get my drift.
To be fair, I haven’t tasted L’Orbe vodka, and I’m sure it’s lovely. And there’s no reason why wealthy people shouldn’t enjoy high-end products. But this kind of “exclusive” marketing always rings my BS alarm. I mean, once you’ve chucked in half a pint of Del Monte, is it really going to taste much different to some Smirnoff red and a bag of Scampi Fries? Especially if you’ve already sunk four glasses of Taitti on your way through the door. I’m just talking about myself here, aren’t I…